This movie is so painfully stupid and boring that my advice is that you speed through the first hour to see the “50 Ft. Woman” in the last five minutes.
I thought with a title like this, there would be some redeeming campy nonsense. (After all, I had enjoyed, mildly, watching Frankenhooker (1990) in my youth, which has a plot so bizarre I’m not going to describe it.) But I’m afraid to say the filmmakers here succeeded in killing any fun through a combination of painfully obvious plot, excruciatingly slow dialogue, exaggerated acting, and phony props, even for 1958.
The plot can be summed up in the following: Angry wife gets revenge on alcoholic husband for cheating with conniving young blonde. What could be the problem with this? Two aging psychologists smoking pipes and speaking with German accents, come up with this “diagnosis:”
Dr Isaac Cushing: (Roy Gordon) I’ve known Nancy since she was born. In those days, she was a beautiful child. Fresh, young, full of the joys of life. But in the last few years, after her marriage, she seemed to change. Her health seemed to rise and fall with the tide of her emotion.
Dr. Heinrich Von Loeb (Otto Waldis): Very sad case. A case not infrequent in this supersonic age we live in.
Dr. Cushing: I’m afraid I was unwise in advising her to take Harry back after they had separated.
Dr. Von Loeb: Who knows my friend? When women reach the age of maturity, Mother Nature sometimes overworks their frustration to the point of irrationalism. Like the middle-aged man of our age, who finds himself looking longingly at a girl in her early 20s. (51;32 – 52:22)
This poor afflicted woman, Nancy Archer, (Allison Hayes) has a much better understanding of her situation: “Now you hear me, Harry. I won’t stand for any more of your two-timing. You keep away from that girl and that hotel, you here? Your backdoor romance has split us up once already. The next time there won’t be any reconciliation.
Harry Archer (William Hudson): You know, you’re going to flip your lid just one time two many with me, Nancy.
Nancy: “And you’re going to make one two many passes at some other woman…. My husband…! Hah…! My gigolo, that’s what you are. You’re a miserable parasite. You’re just after my money. I was rid of you once. Why did I take you back? Why?! Why?!
Harry: “Why did you, Nancy?”
Nancy: “Why? Because I love you. Why am I always fighting with you when I love you so much? Oh I’m sorry. (hugs him) But if you only show me me once that you really care, I’d do anything. What’s wrong with us, Harry..? I don’t know. Maybe, it’s me.” (12:25 – 13:51)
Yes, Nancy, it is you! You know darn well what’s wrong! He’s a gigolo and a parasite and yes, he is after your money! For God’s sake, drag your whining ass down to an Al-Anon meeting now! Stop being a doormat to an immoral alcoholic! And stop spouting movie clichés! Pull yourself together and fire the screenwriter! Move on! You’ve got better things to do with your life than this!
And so do I.
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